I Don’t Feel The Same Joy As I Did When I Was A Kid

Is feeling joyless part of growing older?

My mother came in my room today, telling me a girl we know had her baby and what the name was and all of that. I didn’t care.(I’m not mad she told me, I just didn’t care) She thought it was cool though. The only answer I could spit out was “More power to her.” This girl was never anyone I was closely associated with, so what does it matter to me?

I just don’t care. I don’t feel anything when someone says another person is going to have a kid. It isn’t my life. It isn’t my problem. Congratulations to the people, you done the deed. Bravo. But whatever happens after that, is your own business. I don’t feel that it is necessary for people to broadcast their lives over social media, flaunting to everybody how great and wonderful their lives are going, while some of us are still basking in a shit storm that we can’t escape.

I was in a decent mood for a bit today, then it just started getting lower. And after hearing about that it pretty much plummeted. I must be a waste of a human. Most people can muster up even the smallest congratulatory words. And I can’t even do that it seems.

I’ve spent the past ten minutes with tears welling up, for no apparent reason, just out of the blue. They won’t fall though, I can’t cry, there really is no reason to.

I am just tired, and empty. It’s one of those days I suppose.